1. A  FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man  tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are  CLOSED.

2.  One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption : 
Before  Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD, 
After Marriage - Drink whenever you  are HAPPY

3.  Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1.  Tele-Phone
2.  Tele-Vision
3.  Tell to Woman
Need  still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.

4.  Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.

5. A  man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and  Best Woman.
Next  moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral  : BE SPECIFIC

6.  What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?
It  is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your Friends.

7.  Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.
They  see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should  KILL him.
Ant  2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we  will just  throw him away from our path. 
Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE  him because  he is ALONE and we are FOUR.

8.  If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life. 
If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your  life.

9.  Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their  MISTAKE.
Answer  : On their MARRIAGE.

10.  When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from  Darkness. 
Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness -  Please PAY  the  ELECTRICITY BILL.

11.  Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women. 
Because per Constitution,  you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.

12.  "A Ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT what it is built for" -  Albert Einstein